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Here we are…
…that familiar time of year that Phins-Fans are hoping for that spark, that unexpected bonus, those big plays and wild success that helps us win down the stretch…
but we ARE the Dolphins, and it IS December.
It wasn’t too much of a stretch to see the wheels falling off the offensive when Albert went down, and the absence of OL depth was consequently exposed. Disappointing to be sure, but I, for one, was quite impressed that the brass managed to find 5 new starters and put together a GOOD offensive line in the off season, but acknowledge that doing so made it impossible to build depth at the same time.
And it was right around that time, about 3 pathetic games ago, that our D was being hailed as “the best in the league” by some, and ranked anywhere from #2 to #6 over-all, depending on which numbers are being used, and by what talking-head happen to be talking at the moment. So it was not much of a stretch, it wasn’t asking too much to hope, it was not out of the question to wish, hell – to EXPECT our vaunted D to step up and start dominating and pick up the slack was it? Yes, apparently it was.
- Do they make plays to win games?
- Do they shut down other teams with regularity?
- Do they just play “OK” and hold teams to 300 yards of offense instead of the 400+ they’re giving up?
- Do they live up to their ink when we need them to the most?
Of course they don’t,
THEY’RE THE DOLPHINS and it’s DECEMBER!
Yes folks, it’s that time of year that our team’s #1 strength, the cornerstone, the guys we thought we can depend on FER SHER… set a 3 game record in FUTILITY and will certainly end the season just like last season, with the same shameful and embarrassing whimper a puppy makes when it pees on the floor right in front of you. And after 10+ season of this, I’m ready to accept that this is now my life.
SAME ‘OL DOLPHINS!
Yup, now’s the time we have to read “Should We Trade Wake?” headlines, and “IS Philbin on The Hot Seat?” headlines instead of ones that have to do with the play on the field. We get to read “Dolphins 2015 Draft Projections” and I recently saw and article that showed which state hates which team the most. There are LOTS of Patriot haters our there… not a single Dolphin hater. NO ONE hates us? We are completely irrelevant! Which reminded me how much I liked to be hated when Lebron was here. Winning fixes everything, which also explains why we are perpetually broken.
Though I’m obviously dismayed at our repeated late season futility, I am NOT the knee-jerk guy that wants to fire everyone and start over… AGAIN. Have we not proven that ‘appeasing knee-jerk fans’ does NOT work? I say stay the course for at least 1 more season – see if Hickey can bring in some more talent (and depth) in his 2nd season with the team… and let the good core of players we have develop around the new ones – Landry being one of them. But then again, if Cam Cameron is available, I could change my mind on that. Anyone looking forward to the Harbaugh Circus Pt. Deux? Not me. I wonder if Ross will take Philbin on the trip to SF with him so he will help close the deal?
PS if Dion Jordan doesn’t earn a paycheck this week, then renegotiate his contract to “back-up-linebacker-taken-in-the-4th-round” status.
PSS Vegas line has the Pats -178. I’m layin’ the points.
My face has been stuck like this since the Denver game. Please send help!
Last night, as I watched a YouTube video from the 70’s of a live rendition of Edgar Winter’s “Frankenstien” with Rick Derringer on guitar, wearing quite a smashing little gold lamé jump suit number I might add, I couldn’t help but be a bit disgusted at the overt display of LOOK AT ME in the performance… the likes of which I never seemed to connect with at the time!
Now this was one of my favorite tunes of my early teen years growing up… and it’s just now that this occurs to me… why is that? I mean, sure, I get it – that’s what the business… er – I mean ART FORM was all about then right? Rock like a mother fucker with manly chops dressed like a girl. What’s not to like? But the difference between Kiss’ “look at me” and the Edgar Winter’s “look at me” is that Kiss NEVER took themselves so seriously.
Though at times, this ‘glitter’ era of rock n’ roll was less musical and more theatrical, it was a necessary step that pushed us forward out of the doo-wop, bee-bop phase that hung on to mainstream music despite the 60’s influence, and well into the ‘MC5 Kick Out The Jams’ attitude that eventually lead to punk rock.
Music fans eventually got sick of the hairspray and spandex and over-self-indulgence and began to ask the question aloud, “what happened to rock n’ roll” and “when did we become so bloody androgenous? This widened the gap between what WAS a musical and artistic innovation, and the musical PRODUCT it had become. And in that gap, PUNK ROCK was born, a musical genre that NEVER took itself seriously… or DID it?!
Something Old, Something Borrowed, Something New
When punk came along in the mid to late 70’s, even though I was heavily into the the chops, glitter & theatrics of bands like T-Rex, David Bowie, Alice Cooper and Yes, I was relieved that there was ‘something more’ than dressing up in women’s clothes and ‘vogueing’ while you HAPPEN to be playing music.
So I morphed into a punk with Zeppelin roots, Beatles sensibilities and a Bowie fashion sense – “and just how’s THAT working’ out for ya’ Mike?!”
Actually, it worked fine for a while as I was enjoying the newness of my new found punk rock attitude and all the seeming ‘freedom’ it brought with it.
Clothes, unimportant. Hair, unimportant. Job, education, social standing… all VERY unimportant – this was a “Made For Mike Shannon” movement! Note Exhibit A below (no it’s not named Exhibit A, I just typed it for effect). This was 1980, in my first year at Carlton U. in Ottawa playing in a band called “Syph Hillis and the Nocturnal Emissions”. Yes, I was proudly an Emission! But considering the name of the band, and the year, and the fact that we were playing “Someone’s Going To Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight” by the Rezillos… the drummer clearly did not get the memo regarding the shifting trends where hair style was concerned. If I sucked at the drums, the hair most assuredly would have been an issue. But as it turns out… I ROCKED!
But the message, the protest… THOSE where what was important! “COOL… that seems like a pretty good cause”, I thought! So I latched on to the mantra that embodied punk rock… “Don’t do what THEY say you should do!” and I was ALL IN! Until, I realized, over time, that what they were ACTUALLY saying was “don’t do what THEY say you should do… do what WE say you should do!”
And It Starts
This startling revelation came out in living technicolor when I stood on stage between sets in a punk club in Ottawa in 1981 and proclaimed into the mic, “I don’t care what you fuckers think, Led Zeppelin ROCKS and the Beatles are BRILLIANT”… cricket, cricket, cricket.
I was practically ostracized from ‘the scene’ for that remark. But only the punkiest of punks commended me saying, “that was one of the most punk rock things you could possibly do.” And I realized that they were, in fact, correct by the purest definition of ‘punk’. It was all about be yourself, make no apologies, no filtering, no censoring. Well this endorsement from the scene’s most ardent punks kept me afloat, but it was clear that MOST of everyone didn’t get that at ALL and I was labeled as a glitter rock infiltrator of their punk rock ranks, a pretender, and (the worst insult of all) a SELL OUT! Looking back, perhaps I should have cut my hair. But I said it, and I’m sure it cost me a couple of drum gigs at the time, but I was glad I stuck to my guns because the truth of the matter is that Zeppelin really DOES rock god damn it and the Beatles ARE fucking brilliant! And no movement in the world can refute those 2 facts.
So as time would tell, it was my detractors that were exposed as the posers and are probably, just now in their advanced years, ready to admit that the Led Zeppelin that they grew up with, but eschewed for their new found punk rock attitude – or more accurately – succumbing to peer pressure, are actually really fucking good! But for 30 years, they forced themselves to not like them just to be excepted into a club that has long since lost it’s relevance. Dying trend followers can be quite stubborn at times… and very amusing.
The Dreaded Sell-Out Monker!
So in musical styles and trends and fads… we come full circle in public attitude and perception – right back where we started… making virtually no dent, over time, in the public vernacular as we so loftily hoped we would. This leaves us with only with a marked influence on fashion and the actual style of music played during that time, which tends to change religiously every 10 years no matter HOW punk rock you are. But for the HOLD OUT punks of the 80’s with your hair spiked up and Macy’s safety pin & zipper motorcycle jackets, at least you’ve got the wives of Coral Springs, Florida to blend in with fashion wise.
But hey, it’s inevitable! Those in the game long enough almost ALWAYS sell out. No?… is the suggestion here that Siouxie and the Banshees envisioned the “Kiss Them For Me” MTV video when Syd Vicious was playing drums for them in the early days and Sioux couldn’t carry a tune on an oil tanker? How about Elvis Costello, the “angry young man” of the late 70’s who was banned from SNL for a couple of decades because he sung Radio Radio on the air despite their emphatic instructions not to. Perhaps he never saw his collaboration with Burt Bacharach coming 30 years later.
Maybe Lou Reed never envisioned sharing the stage with Luciano Pavarotti to sing Perfect Day in 2001, 29 years after it’s release.
How about Led Zeppelin being honored IN the White House in 2012? I’m surprised they didn’t throw a TV out of the window to see if they could breach the bullet proof glass. And Paul McCartney?… ok, that’s a bad example.
Except for the very, very few who staunchly hold on to their early punk rock sensibilities, we all eventually sell out so we can latch on to the next big thing and then call people, who were just like we were a month ago, “POSERS”. And those old war horses like Johnny Rotten and Iggy Pop and the Ramones become caricatures of themselves, holding the torch for a time long forgotten, or at the least, shrouded in the present – which is as it should be from where I stand. Guys like that have no choice but to drift quietly off into punk lore insignificance with the inevitable march of time, except in the hearts and minds of those of us who were fortunate enough to be there at the time, during our most formative years.
It is we former punks who look fondly back and tip our hats with respect, admiration and thanks. But that’s where the thanks end for those salty war horses that don’t or WON’T sell out. Sadly, those thanks are often not enough for a 60-something former-rocker who just wants to settle down and live comfortably for the next few decades. It’s unavoidable, eventually, REAL life gets ahold of you.
What Have We Learned?
Through all the stomping, screaming, rocking, dancing, writing, playing, gigging, jamming and protesting… money still drives the bus. The fact is that WE must all eventually make a living, which usually means that we pass the pioneering torch to the younger crowd and move on to earning a living. Out with the old and in with new. It’s only the precious few that can maintain their core ideals and keep the gravy train rolling throughout a life time without becoming a joke. Though we felt our influence was profound, it was really only the sound of the music and the clothes that changed things… while every other seemingly ‘meaningful thing’ that revolved around the Movement-de-Jour was just business as usual.
So as I played Frankenstein, far too loud to be audibly healthy (some things will never change), it awakened my 1970’s glitter rock nostalgia and the reality of what I just expounded upon came crashing down on me. I took a moment then to fast forward my musical vernacular 10 years from that moment to my punk rock years in the 80’s. And sadly, the same equation holds true. Backward to the 60’s… hhmmm. Gurnge in the 90’s? Hip Hop? Country Western? Even classical music is wrapped up and packaged like Pez. After 3 distinct movements over 3 full decades, it became clear to me that NOTHING IS SAFE FROM SELLING OUT!
Trends come and go and at the time, they are “EXACTLY WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR”. But the fact was that you really had no idea what you were looking for. But you DID crave DIFFERENT. And Punk Rock was, for me, that thing! But eventually, like with everything, the freshness wears off, the cracks are exposed, the innovators grow up and move on, the posers take over, the money creeps in and the magic of it all creeps out into the universe only to seep back into the next “different thing”. By the mid 80’s, what was left of the punk movement was only a packaged product to sell to the masses, devoid of any innovation or protest themselves, but armed with a no limit credit card for that $280 Macy’s safety pin and zipper motorcycle jacket and some retro-issue $200 Doc Martins that they can show off at the next ‘fund raiser’ to give off the impression that they’re “with it”… 15-20 years after the fact.
With this, I lowered my head in equal parts of sadness, shame and embarrassment. Sadness for a time long since passed. Shame that I unwittingly took part in this process despite my protesting. And embarrassed that I couldn’t see it at the time despite the fact that I was SURE I knew EVERYTHING! But even with this reality smacking me in the face, killing my buzz, making me sad, I still couldn’t help but crack a smile. I turned off YouTube and fired up my iTunes and cued up The Bad Brains’ “Sailin’ On”. While the tune thrashed around about in my head, distorting all sense of time and reality as that tune always does for me, before the 2 opening bars were finished… the feelings came flooding back into me again, just like music of all genres, all times, styles and cultures does to the people who were ‘there at the time’. I could not help but thrash my head back and forth with the blistering speed of the drums, distortion of the guitars, and barely discernible vocals in this wonderfully substandard recording. And while the angry protest in this thrash reached down and grabbed my balls, it pulled me out of my seat while squeezing out dormant aggression through my 52 year old pours. It was then that I just could not help myself as I assumed the position, and thrashed out the last 2 verses on air-guitar… and I was AWESOME!
Trends, styles, fads, fashions, cultures and genres – all of them in their hey day were fresh and new and controversial. But they all come, and they all go – and ALL of them eventually succumb to the corporate sell-out machine, leaving behind them a wake of ‘best-of’ records, ‘remember-when’ videos, faded and t-shirts, Johnny-come-lately pretenders and a dying fashion trend that is shown the door only after spending a couple of shameful, demeaning months on the clearance rack. But for this 60’s-70’s rocker… this 70’s-80’s punker… and this 80’s-90’s grunger… each era was resplendent with Led Zeppelin roots, Beatles sensibilities and a Bowie fashion sense… whether I liked it or not. And those formative years were indeed, a magical time.
Before I get to the report, I know it has nothing to do with scoring
points or winning games, but I just love this shit…
Mercifully, the pre-season is behind us and next up,
we have the stinkin’ Pats at home with live bullets!
Tenny: Looks good! It’s hard to believe he threw 24 TDs last year from his back, so it all hinges on the o-line giving him time consistently. If that happens, and with the weapons we have, I see him having a banner year. It might also be noted that we might have one of the best back ups in the league in Moore. I always liked that guy, but I hope we don’t need him!
O-Line: Who the hell knows. What I DO know is that this team’s success this season hinges entirely on this unit getting back to respectability. Doing so means we can run, which means we can pass, which means we can score, which means the defense gets better, which means more wins. Are we seeing a pattern yet? FA Albert (that’s Free Agent… not Fat) appears to be the real deal, Pouncy anchoring center after his suspension, and J’wan James seems to be impressing also. I couldn’t even name the guards. I hope I can before mid season, which means they’re still playing.
The Defense: Picking up right where they left off… great at rushing the passer… bad a tackling the rusher. And through this pre-season, their nasty habit of pounding offenses into submission on 1st & 2nd down is offset by giving up big plays on 3rd. I don’t want to hear this is a “great defense but…” thing again. If they don’t DOMINATE this season… then I’m just flat out perplexed.
Thigpen: The addition and promise of Landry at WR and Moreno at RB plus his abysmal pre-season game 4 might get him cut… but his special teams play might save him as long as he doesn’t muff punts, and then turn around and kick it 18 yards backwards.
Daniel Thomas: Played well in the last game as usual… but not great as usual… always injured as usual…. no special teams value as usual. He’s a hold-over Ireland project, so… al la Egnew… see ya’ later bye!
Studs: Don’t look now but we got ‘em! Here’s my list… Wake-Wake & Wake, Vernon, Grimes, Albert, Pouncy, Clay, Hartline…
Could Be Studs: Moreno / Miller (see offensive line), Tenny, Landry…
Wallace: Doesn’t fit the ‘stud’ moniker but is already a critical cog in the machine, even WITH the ballyhooed missed-deep-connections. The new offense will make him even a bigger piece of the puzzle. And even if he never catches anything longer than 20 yards.. the defense still has to respect his speed, which he’s got an abundance of.
Free Agents: Albert, Delmas, Finnigan, Moreno… all signs are good as of this moment. Don’t know enough about the fat guy in the middle that replaced Solia to have an opinion, but if our linebackers are making tackles on the edges, then he’s officially elevated to “Stud” status, and I’ll have to learn his name.
Diamonds In The Rough: It very much looks like the Fins struck gold in the 2nd round with Landry. And also AFTER the draft with LB McCain & RB Damien Williams.
Uniforms: We have, by far, the sweetest looking home-white uni’s in the NFL! SU-PER-BOWL!
Coach Philbin: Still looks like Stan Laurel. Papi said that he looks more like a ref than coach.
OC Lazor: Ask me in 3 weeks. VERY much looking forward to watching that unfold as we’ve not seen half of that offense yet.
GM Hickey: Ask me in 3 years. If I don’t respond, that probably means that I’ve killed myself… so there’s your answer.
Questions: If Misi can’t handle the Mike LB position, what then? If the O-line sucks again (or still), what then? Why does John Luce act like that?
Early Season Strategy: “Survive Until Week Five” Pouncy is a punk who I wish would just stop talking, but a great center… Jordan is another typical Fins ‘reach’ (and apparently very stupid) but has the physique and has shown flashes of greatness… Pro Bowler Rashad Jones… all coming back in week 5. If we’re .500 at that point, that will be a hell of a personnel upgrade right at the bye week.
Season Prediction: If I even tried to wager a guess here, as my friend, I would want you to come here and shoot me in the face with a bazooka, just for being willfully and persistently stupid.
~ Bonus Trivia Question ~
Who was the QB/WR combo that hooked up for the overtime TD in week 15 of the dreaded 2007 season that got is the win and averted yet, another perfect record?
Now step away from Google… the answer is below. If you got it wrong, you should move to and root for Buffalo. If you got it right, you win an afternoon with Gary Penca at his favorite nude beach.
Game On Baby ~ GO FINS!
by Mike Shannon, Who is AWESOME!
Costa Rica Toll Free: 954.727.3128
Costa Rica Cell: 506.6181.4656
~ Bonus Trivia Question Answer ~
Cleo Lemon to Greg Camerillo
This is result of an interesting email I received from my son,
his initial views and his subsequent request for mine.
ZAC: Oh and how much you want to bet that the Dolphins draft Michael Sam haha. Not this it matters and not that I care but it would be very Dolphin’s like and it sure would suck to have to listen to people talk about it 24/7. I love how he says “I don’t want to be looked at as Michael Sam the gay football player, rather Michael Sam the football player”. If that was the case you probably shouldn’t have came out publicly.
It’s not up to him to SHUT the fuck up…
It’s up to US to GROW the fuck up!
THE SWAGGER ISN’T BACK… IT NEVER LEFT…
The Canes game proved to be a nail biter and my elation for their victory was eclipsed by my son, Zac’s, hysteria. He’s pretty sure they’re going to win the National Championship AND the Stanley Cup this year! Though it was an ugly game, the right team won and I’m very happy that our Canes are back in the national conversation… for now. But my favorite part of the game, and pretty much the only reason for this post, was this moment…
On top of the CONSTANT jawing throughout the game, as the final seconds of the first half were ticking off the clock, players from both teams were squaring off at the line of scrimmage, neither willing to back down. It took a picket fence of referees to keep them separated and eventually, they trickled into the half time locker rooms with no incident. But it shows that no matter how good, or how bad the team… Canes will ALWAYS have swagger. When elite talent meets that swagger… look out!
Before the game last night, I made the proclamation that if the US won that World Cup qualifying soccer game against Costa Rica, I’d be happy. But if Costa Rica won, I wouldn’t care either way. But after being in the mouth of the lion last night – in a typically local Tico bar in San Antonio de Belen, to watch the game, the eruptions after the first and second goals were earth shaking. I have not heard a sound like that since the Fins played in the Orange Bowl. I could not help but admire the unbridled passion these people have for their team and their country. And though I was only a bit disappointed that the US were in a hole early, I was clearly caught up in the rapture of hysteria.
WHERE DOES THE PASSION COME FROM?
With players like above… who can blame them. And we thought we had something with Lingerie Football! In America, we have 4 sports, in CR, they have 1. I remember 1 weekend when the Cans, and Dolphins won – and the Marlins won twice… in CR you get 1 game every few weeks or so. So every game is like the super bowl to them and they were celebrating as such. But when the US scored on a penalty kick late in the 1st to draw within 1, and then applied copious pressure in the 2nd half… I found myself actually rooting for CR – if only to avert being witness to a mass suicide should the US come back and tie or god forbid win. But they did not. The Ticos scored on another spectacular goal to salt it away and all was well in Central America. If every you were going to try to make a case for soccer, this would be a game you would point to. Pura Vida!